well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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