D3 body, D1 cock
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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