he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
