well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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