I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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