So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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