Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
