There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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