um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
