Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
