eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
