my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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