Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
