He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
