i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
