im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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