"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
