just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
