the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
