i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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