Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
