if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
please come you make the beer taste better
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Randomize
