I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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