Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
wow bdsm is so cute
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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