Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
