it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
