I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
