Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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