I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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