I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
