Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
