OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
