Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
