6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
