K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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