discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
There's even glitter on my cock...
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