normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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