your thong is hanging out like whoa
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
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I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
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I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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