oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
