where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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