In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
