and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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