so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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