Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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