Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I haven't been this sober since birth.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything