At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.