I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.