put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president