Dual....:-)
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
