Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
