carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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