Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
