Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
