fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
