google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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