What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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