im drinking this country out of the recession.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
and she was petting her beer can
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
they're like a gay fantastic four
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
