Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
