He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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