Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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