I want to stick my p in your. b.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
