it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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