I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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