i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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